As the pastor of my church for almost 30 years and having talked with hundreds of people, the number one comment I hear people say is, “I just want to be happy.” I have seen people try to achieve happiness in so many destructive ways. I have watched many achieve the goals they thought would bring happiness, but in the end, they felt empty. I myself have fallen prey to this kind of thinking in earlier seasons of my life. What I have found is happiness is not a destination; it is a constant choice.
So, the question is, how do you constantly choose happiness? After all I have been through in my life and experienced in the lives of so many others, it all comes down to three words. It may surprise you that they are not Money, Power, Pleasure, or Popularity.
These three words are found in the Bible:
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Did you catch those three doable things that will bring greater happiness? If you missed them, here they are again: Rejoice, Pray, and Give Thanks.
Rejoice
Rejoicing happens when you choose to remember and talk about the good things that have happened in your life. Many people are unhappy because they only talk about all the bad things that have happened. If you don’t like how you are feeling, watch what you say. So, stop complaining and start rejoicing. Did you know complaining is like bad breath? You only notice it when it comes out of someone else’s mouth.
Pray
Study after study shows that people who pray have more peace. Having more peace increases our sense of happiness. When we say a prayer, it makes us aware that God is there. This awareness of God’s presence gives us more peace, which leads to happiness. If you want to increase happiness, stop talking to yourself so much and talk more to God.
Thanks
Gratitude will change your attitude and how you feel about yourself and others, lifting you up when things have tried to bring you down.
If you really want to be happy, be grateful. The people who feel the greatest happiness are those who are grateful. The highest level of happiness comes from not just feeling grateful, but from expressing gratitude; that is why the Bible says to give thanks. I was meeting with a man one day when he shared something with me that got my attention. He said, “Pastor, I have been divorced twice. I didn’t want either of them.” He said that both wives told him, “I divorced you not because you did anything wrong, I just didn’t feel you loved me.” He said it shook him after he heard both of them say that.
“I love both of them very much but I never express my love or gratitude,” he said. “My silence of gratitude destroyed both of my marriages.”
Now, he is happily married because he learned from his failure to express gratitude. It is hard to be perceived as hateful when you are grateful.
One of the things that I enjoy about being a pastor in this community for so long is I get to pastor multigenerational. Many of the children have grown up and have children of their own. It never fails when I approach a mom or dad holding a baby from three months to a year old. If the baby is holding something and it falls, I will pick it up to hand it back to the child when the child puts its fingers around to hold it again. The parent always looks at the child and says, “What do you say?” The child is only three to six months old. The child can’t say anything, but the parent will say, “What do you say?” Then the parent will say, “Thank you.”
Let me ask you, what do you say when you were almost in that wreck? What do you say when everyone in your department is laid off and a new job opportunity arises? What do you say when you had a loved one very sick, and you prayed, and they got better? You say, “Thank you, God.”
Do not wait until Thanksgiving to be grateful; be grateful every day by expressing gratitude. So, what do you say? “Thank you.”
By Pastor Jeff Daws